Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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