I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
