I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
