Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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