I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
