dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
