OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
