I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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