i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
