So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Well I just put wine in my tea
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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