Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
