Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
