did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
