Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
