She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize
