He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
