I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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