I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
