Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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