The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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