I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
