Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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