We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
