So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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