Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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