Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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