HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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