I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
