i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
