Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
