he wants to bone in the snuggie
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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