just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
