one two three fourrrrnication!
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
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