u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
only if we run a train.
done.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
