But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
