pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
