brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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