Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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