I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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