Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
