this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
