After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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