I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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