He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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