Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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