No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
