Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
