he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
as a side note pls kill me
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
