is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
