I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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