OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
