Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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