Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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