yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
